Spouse, lover, academic studies, finances, career, messy house, bankruptcy, out of work, being poor, death in the family, having to move, and all the other stuff in life you have to deal with but would rather not because it's too much for one person to face. It hits you all at once and you feel terribly alone. That's overwhelm.

Here are some suggested strategies for recognizing and dealing with anger and overwhelm.

I have ranked it by the intensity of the feeling:

1. Code Red: Going nuclear
2. Code Orange: Going ballistic
3. Code Yellow: Throwing, kicking things, and yelling
    (a good old-fashioned temper tantrum, also known as a snit)
4. Code White: Paper cuts and minor frustrations
5. Code Clear: You are no longer frustrated or overwhelmed,
    and can resume your business without the emotional baggage

Let's look at some some anger/overwhelm examples with suggestions on how to handle them.

1. Code Red: Run away!

I took an electronics/electricity class that was way over my head, especially when it came to the math part of trying to figure out the power equations. My high school algebra helped a little, but there was way more I couldn't understand than what I could.

When the chapter reading and homework got so over my head as to become humiliating and frustrating, it turned into a Code Red. I felt really stuck - up to my eyeballs in scholastic quicksand.

Solution A: I shut down the computer, closed my textbook, and simply walked away. I took a walk around the block, or did some other physical exercise. The pent-up energy gets safely expended during exercise instead of contributing to an angry snit. By snit, I mean any or all of the following: kicking things, throwing things, breaking things, yelling, or inability to act rationally. A child's temper tantrum.

Solution B: Sometimes I will take some anti-anxiety medication (that's what it's there for) if I feel the need to calm down physically and help get some distance away from the anger and frustration I am feeling.

Solution C: Even though this strategy works temporarily (as all strategies do), during that break time away from the stressor can cause a downshift from Code Red to a less intense code, where you feel you can hit it again with less stress and more enjoyment. Even moving one code down, say from Code Red to Code Orange, is an improvement. Acknowledge this. We are not perfectionists here. Even a tiny move from grand mal frustration to slightly less frustration is still a huge step. This will change over time, and your leaps will be greater. For now, be happy with baby steps. They're better than what you had before, which was feeling frustrated and acting out.

Solution D: Pray for guidance. What the heck, it's free help, and as you learn to trust it, you get some pretty amazing ideas. Sorry Mr. Ego, the ideas didn't come from you. You don't have to believe in God, just in your own sincerity while praying. Pray for it, and really want it in your heart, something like, "I do not want to be angry and frustrated anymore. Please guide me." This might also be called a form of surrender, like saying it's beyond my capabilities, so You (God or higher power) can help me out.

2: Code Orange: Avoid All Known Triggers!

Solution A: This one's all about choice. If you know something is going to set you off and you're just sitting down to do that very thing, why not choose otherwise? Often I find myself going at it out of a sense of obligation, such as doing my homework, and really resisting and hating every minute of it. Better to wait until I am in a better mood. The quality of my homework benefits as well. And I have more fun doing it.

Solution B: Just as exercise can be beneficial, so can a nap. Take a 20-40 minute nap before tackling a frustrating task. Sometimes a little bit of sleep can help you access parts of your brain where the answers are, and you'll feel better, too. Relaxed, rested, and raring to go.

Solution C: Make it your mission in life to not ever want to be helpless, frustrated, and angry again. This is tough one psychologically for many of us, because the need for sympathetic attention from others can be buried very deeply, and you may not know you just have a bad habit - getting angry so people will offer you sympathy, or whatever else you may be getting out of it. Make it a conscious thought to not want to live in the land of the eternally frustrated, and eventually, as new habits are enforced and take some time to supercede old ones, you will succeed.

3: Code Yellow: Put what you've learned into action!

Solution A: At this stage, the frustration may still flow from the same familiar sources, but your reaction to them has changed. You are able to spend less and less time in a frustrated state. This is a sign that your hard work and vigilance in items 1-2 above is paying off. Congratulations. Celebrate your victory!