In the 17 years since the publication of that book, I am still taking my Prozac and getting talking therapy, whenever our health insurance situation permits (I am currently uninsured and waiting to hear back from the County on getting a talking therapist and a psychiatrist for my meds).

An episode of depression, followed by rage occurred last November, and I ended up being hospitalized at the urging of my former therapist, who felt I could be a danger to myself or others. I spent 3 days in County hospital's psychiatric wing, cooling off, and fortunately harming no one.

My former therapist, who I could no longer afford to see because of the loss of my insurance, urged me to continue to seek help, and gave me a list of "free clinics," none of which panned out due to California's bleak economic situation. I'm sure in better times I could have gotten some of this free help, but since the economy went south and took all the jobs with it, all of the funding for free clinics has dried up as well.

In my depressed state, I simply gave up. I didn't have the will or the energy to wind my way through countless city and state mazes to find out where I could be treated for free. I reported this lack of funding and therapy availability back to my former therapist, and thought I was done with it. He urged me to continue looking. Being hospitalized for an episode, plus his heartfelt urging made me feel that at least somebody cared about me, even if I didn't at the moment, and the hospitization hit home how serious this disease was.

A few months later, I was studying the work of Albert Ellis, and getting some help that way, via the self-help route. I did my REBT worksheets faithfully, and it did seem to be working for me. Then, as I began to expand the worksheets, going into more detail about the "activating event" I found myself triggering a depression response again. I had to lay off the worksheets for a while. They weren't helping anymore.

A friend of mine recommended the PBS special called Depression: Out of the Shadows. I watched that show with great interest. I watched it a second time and took notes. I became aware of two feelings: how dangerous this disease could be if left untreated (or half-treated, in my case, as I never stopped taking my meds, but I did stop the talk therapy) and how much could be done if I really wanted to. If I really tried.

That was the turning point for me.

I felt help was out there and it was up to me to find it. With that conviction, my hopes began to rise. I started seeking help, and suddenly had the energy and patience to go through the mazes of the public health and free clinic systems.

One of the participants of the PBS show, author Andrew Solomon, wrote a fantastic book on depression called The Noonday Demon. I went out and bought a copy, and read it.

With this new energy came a new conviction. If I was feeling depressed, and yet made myself do something I particularly didn't feel like doing at the time, the benefits were fantastic. This idea is not new. I had first come across it in Dr. John Sarno's work on psychosomatic illness that I began studying when I first came down with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and was in pain much of the time. There were many mornings when the pain was so bad, all I could do was stay in bed until it went away. Or, if I was fortunate enough to have a prescription for it, take a couple of Vicodin and get up when the pain subsided.

Now I have a new code to live by. Taking a page from Nike's advertising agency, and combining it with the techniques from Dr. Sarno, plus what I learned from watching the PBS special, my mantra these days is, "just make yourself do it." It has actually become an important part of my therapy in battling depression, just as a cancer patient who wants to get well with all his heart, and follows all his doctor's instructions, will more than likely succeed in beating the disease back into remission.

Doctor's frequently say of such a patient, "He's a fighter," as if you could fight something like cancer. You don't actually fight it. You simply do everything in your power to not let the cancer succeed, and it works, much to many doctors' surprise. Although doctors now are making this connection between the patient's desire to live and the success of his treatment. A patient who curls up into a ball and says, "let me die," will undoubtedly do so. That's where family support comes in, in the form of encouragement.

A patient who exercises, eats right, takes his treatments, and continues with his life as normally as possible can easily outlive his gloomy oncologist's prognosis, living another 20-30 years with the disease in remission. We are seeing a lot of this these days, and doctors are taking notice of it. Especially the patient's participation in the recovery process.

Taking a page from the book of successful cancer survivors, why can't this same strategy be applied to those of us who suffer from depression?

If I am depressed and lying in bed, with the intent to stay there, now I get up and make myself take a walk instead. If I become overwhelmed with getting through the maze of the public health system, I ask my wife for help, or try to do it myself on days where I feel particularly adventurous. I finally did get accepted at a free clinic and came away with some helpful prescriptions that I needed, but it was a grueling 7-hour day of waiting to be seen as a walk-in, and another hour waiting after I was seen to get the correct prescriptions I was given. They are just overwhelmed with people trying to get in to see a doctor, and there aren't enough doctors to go around. But, I made myself do it.

In my depressed state, I never would have gotten even that far. But now, it was a victory over depression. Each time I take on a task that I normally would be too tired, depressed, or overwhelmed by, and succeed, even in some small way, I begin to turn the tide of depression and reinforce non-depressive behaviors and states of mind. The more I do this, the stronger the behavior and its success grows.

The other day I had the most stressful day I'd had since working full time, and the fact that I handled it beautifully showed me how far I'd come. I didn't get depressed, angry, curl up into a ball and go to bed, or get overwhelmed. I handled it, and still had a great attitude at day's end. Three months ago I could not have handled a day like this, but on this day I handled it beautifully. This just shows me that the concept of "just make yourself do it" is valid, and how valid it is. I have improved 100% since my episode in November, and I still have not given up hope in finding my therapists, and have stayed with my medication.

This is a website about what you can do to get better. It is not about commiserating, although you may find that you relate to a lot of it. It is certainly not about blaming others, as that gets you nowhere. It is not even to brag about how bad I feel so I can get attention and sympathy, although I am aware that this can easily be a part of every depressed person's deeper motivations.

It is about what you can do to get yourself out of depression. You read what I've done, or get your own inspiration by reading about what I've done, and you get out there and make yourself do it. Each instance of this, each time you do it, is a step toward success and should be celebrated, or at least noted as such. Then over time (short or long, depending on how badly you wish to be un-depressed), you will see how far you've come. This will give you hope, make you proud, and give you a feeling of success - three things that depressed people seem to have a shortage of.

As wiseman Larry LaPrise (author of the song The Hokey Pokey) once said, "And that's what it's all about."